Friday, August 7, 2009

Music

Ok so this blog has turned out to be anything but what I had hoped it would be. I will be picking it back up and running with it if all goes as planned.


Music is my life, I know everyone says that but in all honestly it is the vein of my existence. Music for me is what an IV is to a sick patient. I have been fully engulfed in music for the bulk of my life and it really has benefited my life. I have found that the music that I listen to defines my mood, life and who I am.


I only recently related the connection in my everyday life after thinking about the last year of my life. When I was writing full time it literally sucked up my entire life and I never got a chance to actually listen to music. By December my long term engagement has totally fallen apart and from that moment till now it has been getting worse and worse. We broke up and since have moved away from each other almost becoming strangers if it were not for the extremely close emotional bond that for some reason will never go away.


I kept falling as I was jobless and homeless, struggling doing whatever it took just to eat. Luckily for me my cousin gave me a place to stay for a few weeks. I kept sinking lower and lower due to the situation and the actions of others. During the week that I found my headphones I started turning around emotionally and getting back up.


It seems all my confidence and drive was in my music, I was at the end of my rope just wanting to end it all and my music got me from that point to having an unimaginable job for myself and getting a place to live with some amazing people. Music was without a doubt the defining turning point that took my life from as bad as it gets to better than I have ever been on my own.


Music gives me the huge confidence that I need to fulfill my promise and do amazing things. Without it I am nothing and a failure; I am emotionally unstable and a total wreck. With it I am unstoppable.

1 comment:

Terina said...

I've felt the same way before. The only thing that understands is the rhythem and beat. The only way to make it though is to fade inot the words someone else has written but come for your soul!